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and i can't remember a time where i could just close my eyes and the thoughts weren't racing and racing and racing and i lie awake in bed at night just wondering wondering about everything about happiness and love and death and hate and love and why the world exists and how we came to be and why people just suck i wake up three hours later and he's not awake and the call had ended so now i'm laying here listening to this stupid thing beeping over and over and over and over because i miss him like crazy and i need him and this attachment is extremely unhealthy and i'm trying not to go insane but it's really hard and i just feel like bursting into tears is going to help anything but i can't sleep because i know that as soon as i sleep he'll wake up then he'll feel bad later today when we talk and then i'll feel bad for falling asleep so here i am typing away trying to figure out the world and maybe even the human psyche what makes people tick what drives people what motivates people and how even though we are actually incredibly similar how can we do such terrible things to one another and why it's so difficult for people to accept who they are and truly be at peace with themselves i've never missed someone so much in my entire life but how can you miss someone you've never met apparently it's quite possible since i'm still sitting here making little to no attempt to sleep and my heart aches and my eyes burn and i have to keep reminding myself to breathe which is a strange thing because it's human instinct we know just know that we have to breathe to live but maybe we should live to breathe i've never realized how dependant we've become on technology but so many things would not be possible so many connections undiscovered so many things we'd never know and never learn and i truly despise this beeping that i've heard for the past hour i think it may be the most irritating thing i've ever heard in my entire life it just goes beep beep space space beep beep space space beep beep space space beep beep for two whole minutes when you think about it two minutes isn't really a lot of time but it feels like forever when you need someone on the other end to just click and answer but and maybe this is a good thing this person is sleeping and can sleep and you feel blessed that at least someone is sleeping so they won't have a shitty day tomorrow and you keep promising yourself that you'll feel better in the morning after some sleep but you can't sleep and you just keep lying both in bed and to yourself because the thoughts just keep racing and racing and racing
Literature
Forever and Always
In this moment,
I feel,
More alive inside,
Than I,
Could have ever dreamed...
It's because,
Of the way,
The way you look at me...
So serene...
Compassion,
And faith,
Are just two of your,
Most beautiful traits
I am blessed and lucky,
That you are thinking of me
Now, forever and always,
Please hold my hand,
Please help me to stand
I can't make it alone,
I don't know what I'd do,
If you were gone
Please promise me you'll stay,
Forever and always...
In an instant,
A life,
Can change so completely,
And you,
Can barely breathe...
It's because,
Of the way,
The way you've beat the odds...
It fills you with awe...
Hop
Literature
Unsent
Dear,
I'm too afraid to say your name,
I think you'd think I was weird if you realized
That guy that barely knows you
And that you've only talked to once or twice,
Is writing about you right now.
If all goes steady,
Then you had better get used to it.
Dear,
It's slowly progressing in little steps
But I know soon enough it'll fade for awhile,
It still feels so distant,
And the tension is building.
That is,
I'm building up hope
And tension is beginning to stress
My heartstrings.
Note to Self:
I've found that maybe my worst enemy
Is my reaction to what one person says
Rather than falling back upon
What several other people s
Literature
incinerate.
i want to burn;
i want to feel my skin char and peel
like newspaper on
a barbecue pit.
and my nerves would flicker
as the control panel exploded
in a burst of sugar mint sprays-
like a geyser bursting up from
the ground;
magnificent and terrifying.
i want to burn;
to feel the world all around me
crawling with sweat,
to feel the whisper of smoke
inside of my lungs.
and they say, "from dust to dust,"
but i think it's really ashes.
like a phoenix we are born,
rising up out of poverty and hurt
to soar in the open air like jet planes
and hot air balloons;
and when our souls are tired
and full of soot,
we burn like a firecrac
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i don't know if i like this. it was just an experiment.
never ever ever, if you can help it, get into an online relationship.
[it makes you kooky, like me.]
never ever ever, if you can help it, get into an online relationship.
[it makes you kooky, like me.]
Comments36
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I love this.
I love the way you ramble (:
Beautiful.
I love the way you ramble (:
Beautiful.